


Little Do You Know

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Cheating, Established Relationship, F/F, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12188316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Song is Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Little Do You Know

Little do you know  
How I’m breaking while you fall asleep

As JJ turned over in bed, tossing and turning as her mind raced with thoughts off the two of you and everything that had happened, a tear fell down her cheek. She’d been keeping everything in for so long…it tended to come out at night, when you slept so soundly she knew she couldn’t wake you. 

Little do you know  
I’m still haunted by the memory

For months now, she’d had trouble sleeping. Every time she closed her eyes, images of you with her would flood her mind. She touched you, her manicured fingers sliding over your delicate skin. She’d kissed you, her lips leaving goosebumps in their wake. She’d undressed you, her movements quick and hurried as you gave into your desperation to be heard. 

Little do you know  
I’m trying to pick myself from piece by piece

While she didn’t excuse what you’d done, and it still hurt each and every day, she knew if she’d conducted herself differently things might not have happened the way they had. You’d both made mistakes. Yours had been more tangible, running into another woman’s arms, but hers had been equally as damaging, pushing you away after each and every case, never confiding in you for even the smallest of reasons. “You wouldn’t understand,” she’d said to you.

“I don’t need to understand!” You’d screamed. “The point is I’m your girlfriend and you’re supposed to confide in me! How am I supposed to know what’s wrong if you push me away the second you walk in the door?”

Little do you know  
I need a little more time

Tonight had ended up like so many others. After coming clean, you begged her to work on your relationship. You really did love her more than anything else in the world. She’d agreed to work on the relationship, and she wanted the same - to flourish with you despite everything that had happened - but it was going to take time.

Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside  
I’ve been holding back  
For the fear that you might change your mind  
I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight

Both you and her had been holding back. Communication between you was increasing, but it was stilted, hesitant, fearful - what if one of you decided that this was just never going to work? Maybe the trust had been broken and there was no chance for it to be glued back together. You’d been through so much together and loved each other so much. Which was harder? Working together or letting go?

—-

Away, away  
I love you like you’ve never felt the pain, away  
I promise you don’t have to be afraid, away  
The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me

You knew she had trouble sleeping. Honestly, you didn’t blame her after what you’d done. Over these past few months, you’d become someone you never imagined becoming. Despite what you’d done, you did truly love JJ more than anything else in the world. 

The positives between you didn’t just disappear because of the negatives; it was just a matter of whether the positives could outweigh the negatives, and you felt that they could, with hard work and an abundance love. The morning breakfasts in bed after long weeks at work, the switching radio stations so the other could hear their favorite song on repeat for hours on end, the release of blankets so that neither of you had to be cold, the ease of conversation - at least when you first started dating - all of it wasn’t erased because of what you’d done.

Little do you know  
I know you’re hurt while I’m sound asleep  
Little do you know  
All my mistakes are solely drowning me

It could’ve all been erased had JJ wanted it to. You wouldn’t have blamed her. Running to your ex-girlfriend in order to be heard was supposed to be just that - conversation between ex-lovers and friends - but one thing had led to another and you made what might be considered the biggest mistake of your life. 

Although JJ had heard you by turning you away at each and every turn, it didn’t excuse what you’d done, and you hated yourself for doing it. It’s why you were so afraid; you didn’t want to say the wrong thing and have her call your attempt at reconciliation off. You wanted the chance to prove yourself, but that meant sharing your fears with her; it’s what JJ had kept inside that had driven you into the arms of your ex in the first place. You needed to talk, no matter where the conversation might lead.

Little do you know  
I, I love you till the sun dies

“JJ?” You asked, stopping her in the doorway as she departed for work. 

When she turned around, you finally found the courage to say what you’d been meaning to say. “I’m afraid.”

“Of what?” Her still clipped speech hurt your heart.

But you understood. “I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing. That’s why I haven’t said anything lately. I want to prove to you how much you mean to me and I’m petrified of doing and saying the wrong things.”

For the first time in months, her eyes softened when you spoke. “We’ve both made mistakes,” she said. “But we can’t move on from this unless we speak to each other. I’m glad you told me.”

“Me too,” you said softly. “I know it’s going to take time for you to forgive me, and I never expect you to forget…I just hope that one day you might be able to trust me again. Despite what my actions might have indicated, I love you more than anything else in the world.”

“I believe that you’re being genuine when you say it,” she replied, crossing the space between you to press a soft kiss to your lips. “It’s just going to take time for me to believe it myself.”

You returned the kiss. It had been months since you’d felt this light. A weight had been lifted. “Take all the time you need.”


End file.
